I love being a wife. I remember watching the mistakes of my mother and the other women in my family and thinking how awful it must be to hate being a so-called traditional wife. I loved caring for children and it took some getting used to when my stepchildren were married, and on their own. I missed the large weekend breakfasts cooked with the easy listening station on the hi-fi stereo (it took us a while to embrace technology), to gently wake the other's in the household to the smell of pancakes and bacon and the sound of Journey emitting from the old stereo.
The pride I felt before Jim retired and would come home to a spotless home and dinner either cooking or waiting for him was part of a need to please him. I knew I was different from most everyone else in my family or friends. While my friends were trying to get me to go to the club or bar I was declining and staying home with Jim. Some friends I lost because I was not willing to go out and get drunk at a bar.
Instead, I took that time I could have spent at a club or sitting and bitching about my marriage to other women (which my old friends seemed to love to do) and learned to be a great cook. I learned to quilt, crochet, knit, and fix computers. Fast forward 10-15 years, and I am the only one still married to the same guy and proud of it.
I have a husband that cannot stand to be away from me and I kid you not will not allow me out of bed to cook, clean, or have any stress when I am sick (makes me tear up knowing I chose to be his). If I say, 'I don't feel like cooking' he goes for take out or cooks dinner for the two of us (lucky I know).
If I could find a way to show the women I know outside of blog land, how devoting yourself to your husband (providing he is good one), I would. But, I now that the world we live in is not kind to wives that take pride in their husbands. I know this, because I have been told that I let my husband control me (I beg to differ!). Jim is a man that follows his own rules, if I can't do it, he doesn't. To me that is the difference. He expects no more out of me, than he does out of himself.
So when I see a world that expects an imbalance of power in marriage and divorce is so easily achieved through a lack of communication and disrespect I know that I am where I need to be. I am by his side forever his faithfully.