I asked him if it was difficult maintaining dominance over me since I am at times I am dominate? The answer shocked me: "your not that dominate anymore." Did I just hear that right? I pushed a little more...
He says that I am far more submissive than I think. Whoa! When did that happen? I began to reflect on where we began this journey into ttwd. It was at one time, of the most difficult things I had to force myself to do (submission). Often, I felt like I was playing pretend, that if I did not maintain submission actively he would drop the ball. I was wrong about that.
Perhaps, I am more submissive to him. But, what I learned from this conversation is that it is up to me to change my own flaws. He is there simply to guide and correct when needed. There WILL be times when I forget my place, speak out of turn, and even use disrespect as a weapon. However, he will be there to catch me (though it may be painful for my bottom), he will encourage growth and positive changes. It is the reason I married him. He knew I was a lot to handle, I knew he would be a man I could not walk all over (it is a flaw of mine).
So, I will take this little accomplishment in ttwd and think of it as a badge of honor. Though it is not perfect I am learning to submit without even having to work at it. Perhaps, it will earn me a good girl spanking.