Thursday, March 26, 2015

My Mouth Runneth Over



Yesterday was an awful day. It was one of those days that even my own skin was pissing me off. The world seemed to decide that stupidity was going to be the mask everyone wore, I hate those kind of days. I was annoyed at pretty much everything. And so, my mouth decided to take a trip down the rabbit hole (I love Alice in Wonderland in case you haven't noticed).

I decided it was my job to point out everything wrong in our life, and that I was going to correct the issues all on my own. Except, that is not how things are run around here, maybe in the past before Dd, but not now. I have no excuse for my nagging, complaints, outbursts, and general bitchy attitude. 

I have been hesitant to relay my poor behavior here on my blog, until today. It is not fair of me to only share the easy pleasurable side of ttwd, and leave out the unplanned complex issues I struggle with. 

In all honestly, everything would be fine IF I would learn to shut my mouth when I am upset. You know, the 'think before you speak' thing we all teach our kids? Well, it seems I was a better teacher than I was a student on that subject. 



So while I was on my rampage against the world for pissing me off, I forgot that my tone was not where it should be. So, instead of adjusting it, I decided screw it, and kept going. I bitched, complained, sassed, and even went farther when I saw he was trying to stay calm, once again I am my own worst enemy. Jim gave me time alone to calm myself and busied himself in the other room, he even came in with a cup of coffee to share. But, did I gracefully accept and speak in a nice loving tone deserving of Jim's care? Nope.

Instead, I said: I don't want your fucking coffee! Then I proceeded to point out his flaws....Yes, I know.



Yes, I said that. I went from bitchy and annoyed, to the whole world can shove it! I have no idea why I acted the way I did, and even if I did, it would not excuse any of my behavior. 

Shockingly, Jim maintained calmness through it all, he did not stop me either. What he did do though was create that invisible list of things I have done and saved it up until today. As I sit here with my stinging butt, I know that I have more to come for my actions (as should be), I will be receiving a continuation of my punishment because it cannot be given in one over the bed session without causing trouble walking (again as it should be). 


 Punishment implements our harsh in our home.
 
I would like to clarify that punishment in my home is harsh because I am a slight Masochist and pain is at times a good kind of pleasure for me. But, when punishment is not play, I take it painfully and seriously. I guess only those that do ttwd will understand.

14 comments:

  1. My mouth got me into all sorts of trouble last night too. I just kept digging. My sassy mouth turned swats into one whopper of a spanking.

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    1. Sorry your last night was bad too. I just can't seem to stop myself these last few days!

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  2. Sorry you had such a rough day. I hope things get cleared up between the both of you soon.
    Megan

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  3. My punishments are harsh....extremely for the same reason as yours. So far this year none...not sure how long i can keep that going...but Master is giving me lots of incentive.
    hugs abby

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    1. I sure hope you keep the record going.

      Kathy

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  4. My mouth is what gets me into trouble the most, im working on it, im a work in progress lol

    But as much as i hate being punished, i need the sense of forgiveness that comes with it, to put things right again.

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    1. I know what you mean. It is a love/have kinda thing when it comes to punishment.

      Kathy

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  5. I'm so sorry you had such a rough day and hope things are now resolved between you. My mouth runs away from me too. A work in progress.

    ((Hugs))
    Roz

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    1. They are resolved now. We (meaning I) just needed the reset.

      Kathy

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  6. I'm sorry you were having one of those bad days where nothing felt right. I've been guilty of the same thing... of letting my mouth get out of control. You might be surprised at how many of us had the same experience and regretted it. The good thing about DD is that it addresses the issue, gives a consequence and then the slate is clean. No more guilt, no more anger. I'm sure that you and your Jim will be able to reconnect after the punishment is over. Sounds like he did a great job as a HoH to stay calm through your attitude. Good luck!

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    1. Oh yes, he has the ability to stay calm in all situations, even if I am over here going insane.

      Kathy

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  7. My mouth is my worse enemy and often I am told that I only open my mouth to change feet.

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    1. I wish I would hurry up and learn my lesson so I stop letting my mouth get me in trouble!

      Kathy

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