Thursday, March 12, 2015

TTWD and Self-Image

I am a plus size woman that bounces between being happy with my body to comparing myself to the images of women touted as being beautiful. At times, I want to throw myself on the floor and cry (no I don't actually do that, but I feel like it at times) while asking 'why?' 'why, can't I look like that?'...

The truth is these moments really piss hoh off. He becomes upset at me, tells me to stop picking at myself or he will get mad. He has always told me how beautiful he thinks I am. As a matter of fact, he comments about how beautiful he thinks I am everyday. In his mind, I am some plus sized Greek Goddess that arouses him in ways no other woman could.

Something like this.

However, I look nothing like what I view as beautiful in our society. I am smart enough to know that my self-image is worse than the reality. I have fretted and continued to over think and pick out each and every flaw. Yet, there is a shift within me that is unexpected stemming from ttwd. I find myself feeling sexy and alluring. The bedroom time is amazing, and my view of him because of ttwd is arousing and intense. I have read enough blogs to know I am not alone in the way I see my hoh since ttwd entered our life.

So, in defiance of what is deemed normal and sexy I call BS. It is not the perfect waist, the perfect nails, the perfect ratios of proportions. It is instead, the balance of power within a relationship. I willingly submit to him and he willingly takes control and lets me relax and fall into his care. How sexy is that? Extremely! 

I know that there will be times when I revert back to a poor self-image, but until then, I am going to enjoy being happy with me. So, to all of you that blog about ttwd, I want to thank you for opening the door to this lifestyle and shining a light on ttwd and sharing your up and downs with me and the other readers of your blogs. It has let my hoh and I slip into a lifestyle that is one of the best things that could have ever happened to us.


16 comments:

  1. What a great post! We, like you and your husband, enjoy our ttwd life and that includes enjoying our bodies. Ttwd has rekindled our sex life like nothing else. So sweet............... even and especially the good girl spankings.
    Meredith

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    1. Oh yes, the good girl spankings. One of my favorite things!

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  2. What a great post. You are not the only one who feels that way. I struggle with my self image a lot too. I have never been skinny and probably never will, but what we feel on the inside matters so much more. TTWD has given me a new appreciation of my body and how my husband feels about me. Keep up the good posts!
    Megan

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    1. Isn't is amazing the surprising benefits of ttwd? I certainly was not expecting a better self-image.

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  3. Women, led your husbunds be your mirrows and find the answer i Hes eyes.
    With love,
    Domus

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    1. Hi Domus1,

      I agree. Teamwork and communication between two lovers is always best.

      Kathy

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  4. Hi Kathy. I was directed here by our mutual friend Meredith and wanted to say hi. I look forward to exploring your blog. If she recommends it, it must be good. *smile

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    1. Hello sub hub,

      Thanks for checking my blog out. I have been a lurker on your blog for a few days. I look forward to regularly reading your posts.

      Kathy

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  5. I found you by a comment you left on Ami's blog and by Meredith! Yay.
    I love this. Why do we have poor self images? Our men or partners love us just the way we are! I'm glad your husband reminds you to be happy with yourself!

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    1. Hello Minelle,

      It is nice to me you. I wish I could remember to see myself positively all of the time. But, my mind used to go to a darker place when I reflected on myself (still happens but less often now).

      Thanks for stopping by,

      Kathy

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  6. I totally agree with you! There's something wonderful about Dd/ttwd that helps us ladies accept our selves and realize that we are oh so sexy to our hubbies - which brings a whole new dynamic to the bedroom.
    :) Cali

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    1. Cali,

      YES! the Dd/ttwd really helps in the bedroom. My hubby has always said it, but now I am in a position to actually listen to what he has been saying. Rather than, what the media tells us is sexy.

      Hugs,

      Kathy

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  7. Well stated here. Self image issues is a common concern. Learning what matters most to our HOH is what is important. Take your cue from him and accept what he tells you.TTWD definately heats things up and changes many aspects of our relationships for the better.

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    1. Hi Annabelle,

      The many benefits to our relationship is something I did not expect when we first began this. I am learning to hear him when he says I look beautiful.

      Hugs,

      Kathy

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  8. What's even worse is when you loose weight and feel so sexy. Not super thin, but enough weight lost that you feel sexy. Then you gain it back. Humiliating!
    My husband, too, tells me how beautiful he thinks I am. However, he is the only one!
    Great to find your blog.

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    1. Hi Sarah,

      For me, the worst was when I did loose a little weight I had a customer (at and old job) walk up to me and tell me "You know, you should lose weight." I was devastated. But, then I just got mad.

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