The truth is these moments really piss hoh off. He becomes upset at me, tells me to stop picking at myself or he will get mad. He has always told me how beautiful he thinks I am. As a matter of fact, he comments about how beautiful he thinks I am everyday. In his mind, I am some plus sized Greek Goddess that arouses him in ways no other woman could.
Something like this.
However, I look nothing like what I view as beautiful in our society. I am smart enough to know that my self-image is worse than the reality. I have fretted and continued to over think and pick out each and every flaw. Yet, there is a shift within me that is unexpected stemming from ttwd. I find myself feeling sexy and alluring. The bedroom time is amazing, and my view of him because of ttwd is arousing and intense. I have read enough blogs to know I am not alone in the way I see my hoh since ttwd entered our life.
So, in defiance of what is deemed normal and sexy I call BS. It is not the perfect waist, the perfect nails, the perfect ratios of proportions. It is instead, the balance of power within a relationship. I willingly submit to him and he willingly takes control and lets me relax and fall into his care. How sexy is that? Extremely!
I know that there will be times when I revert back to a poor self-image, but until then, I am going to enjoy being happy with me. So, to all of you that blog about ttwd, I want to thank you for opening the door to this lifestyle and shining a light on ttwd and sharing your up and downs with me and the other readers of your blogs. It has let my hoh and I slip into a lifestyle that is one of the best things that could have ever happened to us.