Monday, April 27, 2015

Collars?

The heavy duty one.

Every once in a while I am surprised. Last night was one of those times. During some play time Jim, he whispered in my ear while expertly occupying his hands that he would like to see me wear a collar for him. Secretly, I have been intrigued by collars in various aspects of bdsm. So when his words passed through to my brain (it is very difficult to focus when his hands are so busy), I was immediately on high alert.

On one hand, there is the erotic and submissive side to wearing one. But, on the other hand, I don't think I could bare explaining a collar to all of the vanilla people in my life. So this leaves me weighing the pros and the cons to it. I have looked at different styles ranging from heavy duty collaring to necklaces that collar, but are not easily identified as anything but a necklace. I know what I like, but it would not go over well in the Bible Belt (the southern United States), so I am left trying to decide what I want to do.

The more discrete version

I know that there are many alternatives to wearing a collar. One of which, was one I read about on one of my favorite blogs a couple of years ago. Janey over at Him, Me, and Us mentioned an earring that she hoped to have one day that would be engraved with "I obey". You can read about it here. It was after reading her post that I realized I really like her idea and the symbolism. However, trying to convince Jim to let me pierce my ear again may be a bit of a challenge (he hates the I have pierced ears for some reason I can't understand).

At this point, I am think that if I do this and Jim still wants me to wear one for him, I will have to have one I wear everyday that is dismissed as a necklace, then wear the one I really want at home (after dark, when no one will come to our house).

I started wondering what many of you do. Do you wear a collar? Do you want to? Would you, if you could?

19 comments:

  1. It's not my style, but I do have a bracelet that I consider my dd bracelet because Gabe gave me three charms as a promise of his commitment to me after we started ttwd.

    Megan

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    1. Megan,

      Your bracelet sounds nice. I really don't care, if it is a collar, or something just for the symbolism. I make jewelry so it would be easy for me to make my own. I just have to decide what I am comfortable with for everyday wear.

      Hugs,
      Kathy

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  2. Hello Kathy,
    I do still wear that earring for him and he sometimes gives it a little pinch. Only us two know ... Well and you lot of course!
    He did also buy me a collar which I wore constantly for about 6 months until the catch broke. It was twisted surgical steel. A couple of people commented on how good it looked but I was always so worried that someone would realise its significance, even if they didn't actually voice it.
    I would love a dainty necklace or indeed a bracelet that looks totally vanilla but has special meaning to us, although I do have to say that when I did wear his collar he would not hesitate in using it, grabbing me and pulling me to him, holding me where he wanted. This could not be done with a vanilla necklace.

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    1. Janey,

      That's what I want in a collar, one that will let Jim grab, pull, and hold. But, finding a durable yet discrete collar/necklace is going to be a challenge! If, you find one similar to what you had before, I would love to see it.

      Hugs,
      Kathy

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  3. Hey Kathy...several other bloggers have received special necklaces that they consider collars...the main thing is that you like and are comfortable with whatever you choose to signify your collar.

    Hugs and blessings...
    Cat

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    1. Cat,

      I always love seeing your comments ;) I have considered an anklet or bracelet, but need to find something that will last. I am rough on dainty things and they tend to break right away.

      Hugs,
      Kathy

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    2. Hey Kathy...if a bracelet would work, you might try a wide cuff style which would not be as easy to break. ;)

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  4. Hi Kathy, I wear a bracelet rather than a collar.Some bloggers have a necklace rather than a collar but it is their significant thing. I say wear what you want and let the rest of the world wonder!
    love Jan,xx

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    1. Hey Jan,

      I like the idea of the bracelet for its symbolism. Maybe I will go crazy and get both! Collar and bracelet...*grins*

      Hugs,
      Kathy

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  5. Lots of lovely collars out there, its a matter of finding one that you like, and of course he does lol

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    1. Hi Tori,

      Jim will be the one that chooses it. But, he is letting me show him which style I like, and which I don't. Apparently, I have VERY expensive taste. Champagne on a beer budget!

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  6. I also have a couple friends that have bracelets, but I have also seen some more subtle collars on etsy. Good luck finding something you like :)

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    1. Jennelle,

      I have seen a few that I would like to buy on etsy. I am sure we will find 'the one'.

      Hugs,
      Kathy

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  7. Hi Kathy, I have a vanilla collar ( necklace ) and love it. Its a double heart pendant that I wear all the time. It's a symbol of our relationship and roles. Nobody but us knows its significance. We also recently got a BDSM collar. It's strictly for us. I'm still getting used to it.

    I hope you find something you like.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Hey Roz,

      It sounds like you are doing the same as I am trying to do. One for symbolism, one for play.

      Hugs,
      Kathy

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  8. No collars at our dynamic yet. Though im quite sure subby would live wearing it. She has to earn it first.

    She does wear earrings with the triskelion sign .. and she has leather earings in the form of a flogger

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    1. Mr. Midas,

      What are the rules for your "subby" to earn her collar? Is is time based, or accomplishment based?

      Kathy

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    2. My former Master bought me a beautiful amethyst Jewish star and two beads and a lovely thin chai mail necklace. He put it all together into a beautiful collar which I could wear 24 hrs a day. Want to hear how dumb I was. I got permission to remove it for a massage, put it in the bathrobe pocket and it disappeared off the face of the earth. I cried for weeks until Sir got me another star and chain mail necklace but it was never the same for me, sadly.

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