Monday, April 13, 2015
Life Gets in the Way
Let's face it, life just gets in the way. It stands in the way of what we want to do, rather than what we HAVE to do. As I have mentioned in my last post, I am dealing with an injury. Since the injury, Dd has been avoided so as not to over tax my body anymore then necessary. Throw in a little family drama into the mix and you have a perfect snapshot of my week. I did go and see an orthopedist and get an MRI of my knee. I know that there are two possible outcomes of the test results: Either I will be stuck in a brace for several weeks and begin physical therapy for my knee and my back (unrelated problem), or I will need surgery...Oh, yay for me.
After a one week break from ttwd, I am assured I cannot hold on to my sanity without ttwd. So, I have had to have a talk with Jim and convince him to begin Dd again and help me find a release from the stress. He was being kind and allowing my body to heal and agreed we both need this. So through some modifications we are back on track. Last night was when we broke the dry spell and brought the flogger out.
I am one that will fill myself with anxiety and over-think everything unless I find a release. For me, that is why ttwd works for me. I get a break from myself and the racing thoughts that lead me to days full of anxiety and worry.
So here we are, me laying flat on my stomach burying my face in the pillow and relishing every single blow. The flogger begins to slice through the air and smacks my bottom and my thighs. Jim has been out of sorts without ttwd as well, my moods have been difficult for both of us, (as I have stated before I am a handful). At this point, we are at around 18 blows, (rough guess as I do not count the strikes), his rhythm is perfect and each blow is coming harder than the last one. Ah the relief! Each strike begins releasing tension, worry, and guilt for waiting to set things right. Then...POW! Jim forgets my left knee is still injured.
The leather tails of the flogger smack the back of my knee with vengeance and stored up justice (no, he did not do it on purpose). We both freeze. "Oh shit!" followed by tons of apologies filling my ears. I begin laughing after the shock of the pain and tell him to carry on (not on my knee though).
If, anyone is reading this and considering Dd, please know that these things happen. Ttwd is not perfect and accidents do happen regardless of experience and years of practicing this lifestyle. As for me, I am still glad we decided to stop the break from ttwd and my knee is no worse for wear than it was before.