Changes are part of life. Without them, life would be boring. I see so many in blog land and some online DD groups discuss the dry spells we all experience at some point. Some wives discuss how to help the situation, while others throw out the ‘maybe we will stop ttwd because hoh is not on the ball enough’. I am always perplexed why stopping it, is easier than sitting down and have a real talk with their hoh. Why is it easier to turn our backs on the one we promised to love in sickness and in health, when things in ttwd slump?
Other times I see DD wives that are envious of some other wives that have the perfect mix of independence and submission. Perhaps one wife has a hoh that is a perfect dom that never makes a mistake, is never annoying, and makes his wife drop to her knees in the most erotic orgasm she has ever had. (Stop laughing, we all read the blogs where everything is so PERFECT).
Yet, it is a false view. We do not think that at the time though. So we take that little picture drawn so lovingly online and compare our lives, husbands, and lifestyle to our own. Of course, ours is never going to look like that. Do you know why?
Because it is the edited, rewritten version of a life, you are allowed to see. It is without the flaws each one of us carries within our minds and souls. Therefore, we are drawn to that perfection. We crave it, and we crave the perfect hoh with perfect domination. Then we begin to think, (oh this can be dangerous). We begin to ask ourselves why our own hoh cannot be like so and so’s hoh. Our vision of the man we promised devotion to begins to look a little tarnished, perhaps his annoying habits were cute at first, or his sensitivity is a bit too much, or he is just not on the ball with ttwd.
Wait a minute, weren’t we happy with our hoh before we started comparing him to the edited version of events in another dd marriage? Did we not go to him and ask for this lifestyle? Did he not agree to adapt to our needs and try his best? Then why start comparing one hoh to another hoh based on the edited, adapted, retelling of events in another marriage?
Happiness starts at home. So remember you do more harm to your own marriage when you demand ttwd be perfect. Our own lives are full of stress, annoyances, and perfect imperfection. We all handle trying times differently. So when things aren't going as you would like, remember you chose him to walk in the journey with you, not someone else’s edited online version of a husband.