Monday, May 23, 2016

Oh, How I Miss It.



Well, it has been a long time since I have been blogging. I would like to say, the delay has been caused by being busy, but that is not the reason. Mostly, it is because I miss ttwd with every fiber of my being.



I miss that strike of pleasure that hits in the lower part of my body. I miss the catch in my throat, as his eyes take hold of mine before a punishment. I miss relaying my experiences and pleasures behind ttwd with all of you. I have been on a few times in the last few months, lurking behind and reading, rarely commenting. To me, it has been like being on the strictest diet, and finding myself in the most elaborate and decadent buffet and my jaw being wired shut, when I come to my happy little corner in blogland. I read your posts, and take both joy and jealousy in your different styles of ttwd (it's hard to explain). I haven't seen the whips since I moved, (I had lived in Tennessee, by the way). I haven't even felt the sting of a mild punishment with just his hand.



Once we moved from Tennessee, went to Montana (now live in Arizona), we had no privacy of any kind. We now live with a friend of mine, and her granddaughter (adult grandchild), she (my friend) is not open minded in regard to any alternative lifestyle, and is not fond of men, also gets in bad moods if, my hubby and I disappear for too long in the bedroom during the day. I don't need the cops called on my husband for spanking his wife. We have to stay in our bedroom a lot because her two dogs attacked my 13 year old 45lb dog and myself (I tried saving my dog and ended up with 22 punctures on my hands and a crushed knuckle), I saved my dog, so it was totally it. We also have two tiny chihuahua's that we can NEVER let be in the same room with my friend's dogs. So we stay in the room with our dogs most of the time. It would not be right to leave them in there all day, alone. The walls are thin, we have found her standing in the hallway in the middle of the night with her head against the wall (I have known this woman for nearly 2 decades and this is a new behavior). I never know if there will be laughter, or silence and a scowl, each time I exit my bedroom.



So, the time has once again come for some change, As moving has killed any moving money, we are going to purchase a travel trailer and a piece of cheap AZ desert. Its like being 18 again and starting out in life all over again, for the first time.

But, you can bet your sweet arse ttwd is going to start again. It may be a few months, but I WILL hear the slice of air being cut just before the leather makes contact with my now (sadly), tender flesh. I don't like this 50/50 thing, I want to be held accountable, I want to be stopped in my tracks by the peirce of his eyes when he gives a warning. I want to feel vulnerable and protected, in the way only ttwd can offer me.

So, please be patient with me, as I start this journey of change and return. Additionally, if you are lucky enough to feel the catch in your throat and the sting of a belt, may it feed that yearning most of us here in ttwd blogland have with our souls.









13 comments:

  1. So good to hear from you once again. Sounds like the road has been rough and long for both of you. Making necessary lifestyle changes so that you both can have privacy and the ability to re-ignite and rekindle your relationship takes priority. We are here for you as you regain your lifestyle. Hang in there. Everything happens for a purpose.

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  2. So good to hear from you once again. Sounds like the road has been rough and long for both of you. Making necessary lifestyle changes so that you both can have privacy and the ability to re-ignite and rekindle your relationship takes priority. We are here for you as you regain your lifestyle. Hang in there. Everything happens for a purpose.

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    1. Perhaps, I needed to be push WAY out of my comfort zone, in life to get where I need to be. My goals for the future have simplified and became more achievable (I hope).

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  3. Welcome back! It's great to see you here again. You guys have been through so much, I'm sorry things have been so difficult. I'm with Annabelle. Hang in there. Sending positive thoughts your way.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Life can be a pain. I am glad to be back, and hopefully will have something to blog about soon ;)

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  4. Life sounds very challenging for you right now, and I think getting your own place will bring you to a better place. Will send good thoughts and prayers to you.

    Hugs From Ella

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    1. Challenging for sure. But, a challenge must have been what I needed. Thank you for your kind words.

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  5. You've had some rotten luck, Kathy. Let's hope that getting a place of your own will give you a fresh start and the space to rediscover your ttwd groove.

    Rosie
    Sending positive thoughts across the Pond

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    1. Rotten, for sure. Honestly, there have been days I have just looked back on the last 6 months and though "Damn, I have been through a lot". My life these last few months has been a whirlwind of WTF? I see are groove coming back in the near future and am so glad!

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  6. Think everyone above has said what I would so I will just agree with them and send lots of positive energy and good thoughts your way that everything works out for you asap.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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    1. As always, Cat, thank you for your kindness and sweet words. I hope everything is going well for you, I have a lot of catching up to do.

      BB

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  7. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all of that... fingers crossed everything is sorted out asap and you can resume your lives... hugs!

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  8. You haven't posted in a while. I hope things have improved!

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